I’m a commitment phobe for right reasons says, Akanksha Chandok

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Asking this question in an interview with Akanksha she told us that she might appear as too much or going over the board about relationships but she would always prefer giving her time, attention and efforts to someone who’s stable when it comes to their goals, preferences, choices and that’s something she not only follows in her personal life but in her professional life as well. Being committed to one’s foundation and what they believe in is something that makes them stand out of the crowd and more admirable in their social groups.

As per her if we talk about casual and open relationships, SKY IS THE LIMIT, the limitations of which is one will never be satisfied in whomever they are dating and will always be on the run to explore new options but at the end of the day will always be the one sleeping alone, disappointed to their bed.

Take an example of your parents “if they were only there with each other to enjoy their labels but not adding efforts towards the same would you be happy living in a place that you call home or feel like living in an apartment between two individuals who are toxically attached to each other and contributing unknowingly in affecting your upbringing.”

With a smile she further adds “Commitment aren’t chains to bind people together but a sweet promise that no matter whatever happens those two people won’t give up on each other.” What actually makes people shy away from the commitment part is their inability for not being tied down by the burdens of something so serious. But ask a question what’s left in the whole relationship if two people are just there to enjoy and ignore their emotional needs. They are just aligning to fill an empty void within them that was left by their past relationships and what more it brings is emptiness. If one doesn’t want to bear responsibility then they aren’t serious, if they aren’t serious then that thing isn’t on their priority list, so why are they wasting time being there is something to be looked upon. That’s a total self-sabotaging move.

If one wants to heal and enjoy then get a hobby, go hiking, play football or maybe read that favourite book. One doesn’t get to play with the feelings of other people just because they are bored and they need someone to be by their side in order to heal from someone else. At the end of the day that whole cycle becomes very toxic making the individual getting dependent on their fellow partner for their happiness, their mood, emotions. With casual relations, one night stands one might feel happy one day but what about the other days? Asking oneself this very question after getting out of their partner’s bed “Do I want that person or I need that person?” is something crucial.

The person you are with defines you, your circle, your mood, your everyday emotional stability, the way you feel, the way you react at home, the way you are with your co-workers in office, your aura and most importantly the amount of space they take in your head to live rent free is something one would never want to mess up with.

With a sigh she ended the conversation on a practical note saying that women like me are already equipped in their everyday office hustles and chores, we have got a business to manage, tasks to achieve and mouths to feed. Going back to someone wishy washy at the end of the day who’s unsure about his feelings, always juggling his emotions for people and still burdened by his past relationships thereby making himself sit on a pedestal to cater to by others is something she’ll avoid at any cost, further adding, “I need a partner not a project. So better be looking forward to a stable minded individual who I can come to home or talk to with a happy face after a stress full day than being with an emotional lunatic who needs babysitting from his mama.”


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